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990 Short Dictionary of Jargon

990 M.R.* (Footnote from 01-05-2021: these were terms written back then, and today's community doesn't really hold quite a few of these definitions anymore.)

A Short Dictionary of Realms Jargon

It has come to our attention that many new members of the Realms are confused by the specialized jargon used by long-time members of the Realms. For their benefit and for the benefit of all who occasionally find themselves confused, we have created this list of common terms and their definition as used within the Realms.

Event: An opportunity for P.V.C.ers to visit with friends, get exceedingly drunk, suffer heat prostration, flirt with members of the opposite sex with whom they are not currently involved (but honey, I was just playing my character), acquire a really neat collection of scratches, bruises and insect bites, and to insure that the morning after, they will be too stiff, sore, exhausted and hung over to make it back into class and/or work.

Practice: 1) An unofficial event, lacking the bugs, sunburn, and booze. 2) A bunch of bureaucratic bulls*** involving too many rules, and not enough fun (UMASS only).

Quest: A carefully planned plot-line designed to both provide a challenge to the questers, and to be completely foolproof (i.e. to remain intact no matter what factors chance might introduce), which invariably runs into a fool, who manages to throw it completely off track anyway.

Prince Robert II: Who?

Prince Bob: Oh, him! Also known as P.B., His Royal Bobness, The Royal Baghead, and a royal pain in the ass, he "rules" the Realms with a fist of marshmallow. His royal emblem is an eagle, an appropriate choice, considering his royal resemblance to the bird, particularly in the region of his beack... er, I mean nose. The Prince is an object of fasination to all female (and male) members of the Realms, who are all waiting for the day his loincloth doesn't stay on.

Princess Meg: See: Meg the Fighting Barmaid

Meg the Fighting Barmaid: Once a commoner, she is now First Lady of the Realms. But, make no mistake: the only thing lady-like about her is her title.

Death: A temporary state, resulting from being hacked, bashed, slashed, or run through, and ending as son as you locate a healer.

Taxes: The Realms is only place in the known universe where neither Death nor Taxes are sure.

The Realms: A nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there. There's always monsters attacking, evil spells being cast, hacking and slashing and blood and gore. Do you know how boring that could get after a few months?

Honor: This quality is a lot like virginity, and is just as rare. Once you lose it, it can never be regained (except in rare cases). Unlike virginity, however, it rarely interferes with a normal sex life.

if you don't know, I'm not going to be the one to tell you. If you do know, why the hell are you asking? If you're goregeous, male and single, let's get together to discuss the subject intimately.

Treachery: See: The Southern Wastes.

Gullibility: See: Everyone else.

Goblins: You'll know one if you see one... unless he sees you first.

Humans: A lot like goblins but ore discreet about it.

Trolls: Also a lot like goblins, but bigger, hungrier, and nastier. Again, you'll know one if you see one... but I wouldn't go out of my way for the experience.

Elves: 1) A lot like humans, but with pointy ears. 2) A delicacy (among goblins only).

Drow: Known as dark elves, these creatures are a lot more morally ambivalent than their lighter cousins, and therefore, are a lot more fun.

Wench: A member of the "fairer sex"; "a maid", "dame" or "lady". Actually, whether a wench is any of the above is extremely doubtful. She is far more likely to be female, scantily-clad, and fully aware that the ratio of men to women in the Realms is heavily slanted in her favor. But that's what make us wenches so much fun!

- Cassa SkyShocker
Tags: Player Character
Created by Janna Oakfellow-Pushee at 01-05-21 12:44 PM
Last Modified by Janna Oakfellow-Pushee at 01-05-21 12:44 PM