Discuss (0)  

Who's on Right Flank?

Performed by: Sir Zula Darkwillow and Sir Kwartz of Folkestone
Place/Gathering : Bardic for Team Sean Aengus, Queen of Hearts
Date: 2008
Original by/Sung to: "Who's on First" by Abbot & Castello
Zula: Hey Q, I just talked to Jarrod and he’s going to let me be a General at next years Queen of Hearts.

Q: Look Zula, if you're the General, you must know all the Fighters in the line.

Zula: I do.

Q: Well you know I've been away for a bit and don’t know the new line set up. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's fighting on the line.

Zula: Well, let me see….. Who's on right flank, What's on left flank, I Don't Know Healing

Q: That's what I want to find out.

Zula: I say Who's right flank, What’s left flank, I Don't Know's healing.

Q: Are you going to be the General?

Zula: Yes.

Q: You going to be fighting too?

Zula: Yes.

Q: And you don't know the guys names?

Zula: I do.

Q: Well then who's on right flank?

Zula: Yes.

Q: I mean the fellow's name.

Zula: Who.

Q: The guy on right flank.

Zula: Who.

Q: The right flank.

Zula: Who.

Q: The guy fighting...

Zula: Who is on right flank!

Q: I'm asking YOU who's on right flank.

Zula: That's the guy’s name.

Q: That's who's name?

Zula: Yes.

Q: Well go ahead and tell me.

Zula: That's it.

Q: That's who?

Zula: Yes.

PAUSE

Q: Look, you gotta right flank?

Zula: Of course.

Q: Who's fighting right flank?

Zula: That's right.

Q: When you merc out the right flank, who gets the gold?

Zula: Every coin of it.

Q: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on right flank.

Zula: Who.

Q: The guy that gets...

Zula: That's it.

Q: Who gets the gold...

Zula: He does, every coin. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.

Q: Whose wife?

Zula: Yes.

PAUSE

Zula: What's wrong with that?

Q: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the right flank, how does he sign his name?

Zula: Who.

Q: The guy.

Zula: Who.

Q: How does he sign...

Zula: That's how he signs it.

Q: Who?

Zula: Yes.

PAUSE

Q: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on right flank.

Zula: No. What is on left flank.

Q: I'm not asking you who's left flank.

Zula: Who's on right flank.

Q: One flank at a time!

Zula: Well, don't change the fighters around.

Q: I'm not changing nobody!

Zula: Take it easy, buddy.

Q: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on right flank?

Zula: That's right.

Q: Ok.

Zula: All right.

PAUSE

Q: What's the guy's name on right flank?

Zula: No. What is on left flank.

Q: I'm not asking you who's on left flank.

Zula: Who's on right flank.

Q: I don't know.

Zula: He's Healing, we're not talking about him.

Q: Now how did I get on Healing?

Zula: Why you mentioned his name.

Q: If I mentioned the Healers name, who did I say is healing?

Zula: No. Who's fighting right flank.

Q: What's on right flank?

Zula: What's on left flank.

Q: I don't know.

Zula: He's Healing.

Q: There I go, back on Healing again!

PAUSE

Q: Would you just stay on healing and don't go off it.

Zula: All right, what do you want to know?

Q: Now who's Healing?

Zula: Why do you insist on putting Who on healing?

Q: What am I putting on healing.

Zula: No. What is on left flank.

Q: You don't want who on left flank?

Zula: Who is on right flank.

Q: I don't know.

Zula & Q Together: HEALER!

PAUSE

Q: Look, you gotta pike line?

Zula: Sure.

Q: The piker's name?

Zula: Why.

Q: I just thought I'd ask you.

Zula: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.

Q: Then tell me who's piking.

Zula: Who's fighting right flank.

Q: I'm not... stay out of the flanks! I want to know what's the guy's name that’s piking?

Zula: No, What is left flank.

Q: I'm not asking you who's left flank.

Zula: Who's right flank!

Q: I don't know.

Zula & Q Together: HEALER!

PAUSE

Q: The piker's name?

Zula: Why.

Q: Because!

Zula: Oh, he's middle shield.

PAUSE

Q: Look, You gotta Blacksmith on this team?

Zula: Sure.

Q: The blacksmiths name?

Zula: Tomorrow.

Q: You don't want to tell me today?

Zula: I'm telling you now.

Q: Then go ahead.

Zula: Tomorrow!

Q: What time?

Zula: What time what?

Q: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's blacksmith?

Zula: Now listen. Who is not blacksmith.

Q: I'll break your arm, you say who's on right flank! I want to know what's the blacksmith's name?

Zula: What's on left flank.

Q: I don't know.

Zula & Q Together: Healer!

PAUSE

Q: Gotta a Sorcerer on the line?

Zula: Certainly.

Q: The sorcerer’s name?

Zula: Today.

Q: Today, and tomorrow's blacksmith.

Zula: Now you've got it.

Q: All we got is a couple of days on the line.

PAUSE

Q: You know I'm a general too.

Zula: So they tell me.

Q: I get in the line to do some fancy fighting, Tomorrow's the black smith on my line and a heavy hitter team lines up to attack us. Now the heavy hitters advance and hit the line, me, being a good general, I'm gonna move the right flank in. So I move to the right flank and tell who to move?

Zula: Now that's the first thing you've said right.

Q: I don't even know what I'm talking about!

PAUSE

Zula: That's all you have to do.

Q: Is to tell who on the right flank to move.

Zula: Yes!

Q: Now who moves?

Zula: Naturally.

PAUSE

Q: Look, if I tell the right flank to move, somebody's gotta move. Now who moves?

Zula: Naturally.

Q: Who?

Zula: Naturally.

Q: Naturally?

Zula: Naturally.

Q: So I yell to Naturally.

Zula: No you don't, you yell to Who.

Q: Naturally.

Zula: That's different.

Q: That's what I said.

Zula: You're not saying it...

Q: I yell to Naturally.

Zula: You yell to Who.

Q: Naturally.

Zula: That's it.

Q: That's what I said!

Zula: You ask me.

Q: I yell to who?

Zula: Naturally.

Q: Now you ask me.

Zula: You yell to Who?

Q: Naturally.

Zula: That's it.

Q: Grrrrrrrrrrr……I give up!

Zula: What?

Q: I said I give up!

Zula: Oh, that's our Seer.

Created by Faelinn Shadowmoon (Leanne Micciche) at 08-19-08 03:29 PM
Last Modified by Faelinn Shadowmoon (Leanne Micciche) at 08-19-08 03:33 PM